I’ve been feeling very tired and uninspired to post…however, in the last week, I have:

– Found an ideal flat five minutes from my parents’

– Had various healthchecks

– Completed a passport application for my little one

– Done twelve full archangel readings for my friends

– Taken my little one to Pennington Flash and Chester Zoo

– Had a girly night out

– Read Doreen Virtue’s Healing with the Fairies and bought her Messages from the Fairies oracle and played around with it a lot

– Completed a section of my course on musical notation and transposition from one clef to another

– Applied my musical knowledge so far to my guitar playing

…So as you can see, I’ve been busy, but at the end of the day have been too tired to make posts!


And so to work…

Despite being ill, I got well and truly stuck into my course today. For those who don’t know about this, I am enrolled this year on a second-year music course with the university that employs me. When I went through the education system the first time round, music wasn’t open to me at GCSE level because the requirement was that you would be able to play two instruments, and could only count your voice as one. At the time, after failed attempts with the flute which was forced upon me by well-meaning parents, I only had my voice. Thus I never got the opportunity to study music, and I have always wanted to.

I’m hoping that it will also help me with my guitar playing…you reach a point when relying on tablatures and copycatting what you hear can take you no further…I’m pretty okay with rhythm guitar (though I could use a lot more practice as I do get rusty – it’s difficult with an infant and a full-time job) but have not the faintest clue about finding and playing individual notes on it. So, I’m hoping that learning music theory will help. I’m also thinking long-term that if I do one day re-enter teaching, though at this point in time I would rather not, I will have a music qualification, which is more desirable than the English degree I already have.

Trust me to come to a very difficult concept for me when I had a banging headache and awful nausea. Compound time. It’s kind of my nemesis in terms of music theory. I can handle simple time signatures. I understand how the notes work on the lines and all of the different types of notes. I understand accidentals. I have a good basic understanding of intervals. I understand decorations. But compound time had me tearing my hair out even on the preparatory reading.

After a lot of reading around on the internet, referring back to the preparatory reading, and re-doing various exercises on my keyboard and various aural training exercises, I think I have it and am recording it forthwith for future reference! In compound time, each beat divides into three. The three most common compound time signatures correspond to the three most common simple time signatures:

2/4 and 6/8 are both in duple time. Whereas in 2/4 there are two crotchets or four quavers per bar, in 6/8 there are two dotted crotchets or six quavers per bar grouped in triplets.

3/4 and 9/8 (ugh, I hate both of these equally!) are both in triple time. Whereas in 3/4 there are three crotchets or six quavers per bar, in 9/8 there are three dotted crotchets or nine quavers per bar grouped in triplets.

4/4 and 12/8 are both in quadruple time. Whereas in 4/4 there are four crotchets or eight quavers per bar, in 12/8 there are four dotted crotchets or twelve quavers per bar grouped in triplets.

Can’t you tell I’ve had non-stop fun transcribing this stuff this afternoon?! And I’m still not altogether sure if my answers are right because I keep being foxed by random stray quavers. I hate when quavers do not come in simple pairs or threes. Sometimes you get a stray one preceded by a note of random length…that’s my stumbling block right now. 😦 Once I’ve got past all this rhythm stuff I will be fine! It’s the most mathematical part of music that drives me nuts!

I have also worked out that I will be better off doing a couple of hours per evening in the week and then a longer session on a Saturday and a short one on a Sunday. Having to go back to revise something you did 2 weeks ago in order to progress is no fun at all.

It sounds like I’m having no fun studying and that really isn’t the case! I have just found today hard going. I will be happier when we get to the fun creative bits about actually playing chords and harmonies and composing them on the keyboard. I’m sure there are some students who are in their comfort zone right now with the technicalities who will be dreading the very things I’m looking forward to! That’s the way the cookie crumbles, or maybe that’s the way the beats divide!

More poems written late at night inspired by “The Empyrean”.




As I sear through the candlelight

Into the black velvet ether of starless night


Breaking through the third eye into the expanse within

The unknown beneath a tilted moon – I enter in


The six-point star is written thereon,

This badge of transformation will never be gone.


Each progression and tone an invocation,

Channelling higher ideas in revelation.


From the unseen but deeply felt force

Residing within and without, the all-loving source.


Between love charms and aspirations to ascend

The music weaves sensual spells to the end;


Encoded arcanums lock between the lines

As melodical patterns paint symbols and signs,


Repeating cadences emphasise secret keys,

Voiceless…yet voicing universal harmonies.


The heart is taken apart a piece at a time,

And caressed back together with each beat, each line;


Transformative alchemy inside of the soul –

True magicality which makes brokenness whole.


Wisdom, beauty, truth and love

All parts of the secrets you’re speaking of


And all bound together in these cyclic rhythms,

Freeform magic for the good of all is given.


As with all magic, embedded is the universal law

As you give, you receive more and more;

Then all dreams manifest should be your right

For this more-than-music of the dark and the light.


Copyright: 4.2.09.




Everything is here and it is now

Our journey as ongoing as it is complete.

We look into a future and a past,

Though in our essence we are both of these;

All our lessons in love amassed

Into one absolute and one forecast.


Slicing into my soul

A cross-section of concentric circles

As if slicing into an ancient tree;

A luminescent spectrum

Telling the story of the moments that made me

Written in the records for all eternity.


And every day is sacred

For each day the soul grows

Through those infinitessimal instances;

And dances in the light

To the music of our hearts and souls –

The soaring crescendos and the soft sad lows.


Use the moment with joy

And with freedom to express your truth

In this lies our true power;

And our blazing hearts

Can become free of pain when we allow our flame

To touch those we love in the present hour.


Copyright: 4.2.09

Poetry by midnight

I was inspired by listening to “The Empyrean” (see below) and was up writing poetry at gone midnight last night.



We are the moments

That thread together our lives on an endless string

An infinite stream

Of silent love

Dreams made manifest

Hearts unfolded

And in our eyes

We tell our story

Of the moments that make us who we are

The defining times

The hard truths of our soul

Though they come

Intermittently through the course of one lifetime

They are condensed into one spiral of thought

One tunnel of memory

One stream of being

And made a jewel resplendent in the central heart

Locked away and protected

From time and space

For time is only

The moments we collect

The truths and beauties of our soul

The afterglow of triumphs

The developments of dreams

Which make us real

Copyright: 2nd February 2009



Taking me through the next barrier

Awakened and alive

Recursively through the heights and lows

Of soul activation


From light into dark

And back to the peace

The soft sense of surrender

As I lucidly sleep

Out of time and out of place

In the heart of the deep

In the grip of release

And within this irrationalisation

This surreal unlimitation

A heartburst

Is felt and a new door is broken

A new cycles turns

A new world is open

Copyright: 2nd February 2009

Snow day…

Though I have in fact been to work, the entire day has been ruled by snow, which has always been a spiritual messenger for me.

Eventually I got sent home early which was fortuitous as it is Imbolc! It has given me time to sit and do my rituals, send my wishes out into the universe, and connect with my spirit.

My little boy loved it too!

He and I share a special bond with snow. When I was born, it snowed on the day my mum brought me home from hospital – even though that was in June. When I found out I was carrying Daniel, it snowed there and then – it was in December, but in saying that, it was the only time it snowed that winter where I live. So to me it is magical and sacred…and it looks like Daniel feels the same…

Musical memories unleashed

It was only because I was working on my Photobucket the other day that I was led to think deeply about an amazing miracle that happened in 2006.

My favourite band in the world, “my” band for life, the Red Hot Chili Peppers, decided to do a very small gig in London shortly before the release of their latest album. I happened to be off work – I was teaching at the time and it was half-term; and I remember that the main method of winning tickets was calling Radio 1 whenever they played “Give It Away”. My best friend Silvia and I got up at stupid o’clock every morning and listened to Radio 1 as much as was humanly possible.

Me being me, I also prayed, and prayed hard. I reasoned that if it was not going to hurt anyone else, there was no harm in me having two tickets for Silvia and myself. And on the Thursday of that week, my prayers were answered – I was one of the chosen few who won two tickets through the fan club.

Of course, I had little time to think about it! I had to drive down to London – the car hadn’t been serviced, I was 20 weeks pregnant, it wasn’t at all ideal! But it was one of those times you just have to take the opportunity and to heck with it. We got up early on the Friday morning and queued all day to make sure we would be at the front. Again, this was well-rewarded; we were in the second row of this incredibly tiny club – “Canvas” in London – standing right in front of the guitarist, John Frusciante, who is my favourite musician.

The night was so surreal it’s forever etched in my memory. From the first moments when they materialised onstage playing “Can’t Stop” – one of their signature tunes – I was absolutely lost in the music. When my eyes locked with John’s, during that first song, I couldn’t help smiling from one side of my face to the other – and he smiled right back. The whole night was jewelled with moments like that.

You just forget the painful feet, the being bashed (I spent the night having to push and shove people getting too rowdy to guard my bump), trying to scream across at the singer, Anthony Kiedis, who Silvia particularly liked, in between each song to get him to look at the camera – sadly every time he looked in our direction, she wasn’t ready with it, the fact that another best friend, Sarah, didn’t get in (though she had her moments later in the year!) – and all of that.

I remember instead Flea being on top high-energy form, climbing on and jumping off the amps and feeling his bass right through the floor; catching Anthony’s eye when he was singing with all his heart and soul; the smiles and enthusiasm from Chad, the drummer; being so close to John’s amp that if I closed my eyes I pretty much fell into the melody of the rhythm guitar and felt the solo sections deep in my soul; hearing  four or five songs on the new album for the first time live.

How precious that memory is to me. And somehow I knew that night that it was a precursor to something else; but that’s a story for another day. For now I just want to revel in the magic of that day, and the magical events and miraculous universe that brought that together. The memory will never fade, but consigning it to this collection of thoughts and stories will ensure it lives on beyond me and is there for anyone who would appreciate it to read.

Life is full of such miracles. You need to ask for them; you need to believe in them; you need to take the opportunities you are given; and you need to hold on to your dreams. You need to be prepared to throw caution to the wind and take action, too!

Some of my favourite pictures from the night:


 I am the only person I know who has killed two cars for the love of a band.

I’m not exactly proud of it…but…the first time was on this occasion. Driving back from London to Manchester on the Saturday, the car I’d had for many years and absolutely loved like it was alive dropped a con rod on the motorway and…died.

Twenty weeks pregnant, I had to stand by the side of my car and call the RAC, withstand a tirade of chastisement from my then-partner, who doesn’t have the same love of music as me and just didn’t understand. To this day I smile when I think about it. I still know that I did the right thing. ;-)~

A Muse

Some of my posts will be retrospectives, particularly at times when I am on a plateau and there may not be much to say.

I have a lot of memories to record, so I will work on it over time.

My previous post made me think of a poem I wrote back in 2004 and I thought it best to post it while it was on my mind.

A Muse

Heart and soul, you touch me

Regardless of whether or not you’ll ever know

I have been breathing you

Turned on the lights in my darkened life

And never again will I stand to be kept in the dark

My light smothered, my spirit closed

A free spirit now you released me

Tremble as you whisper in my ear

Though it’s not really you at all

Your energy comes over me

Like a ghost with good intentions

Constant love reaches between us

A stream created by a spiritual mystery

Know that I send you my love and light

And hope for everything you wish for

A sudden charge, a shock, a flash of energy

Finally hands me back my power

And I step in confident and beautiful and alive

Truly in my own power

I have only been a ghost of myself for too long

Your magnificence is my inspiration, my motivation

Your distant soul my safe haven

And beside you I disappear

Into an obscurity I am happy to be lost in

Endlessly share your beauty

It lights fires in the hearts and minds of many

And makes me free to dream

Wherever that world is where you lose yourself

To follow for a glimpse, I would gladly

You already showed me

A new way to be.

Copyright: 31/10/04