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I know I’m long overdue a check-in here!

This will likely just be a quick one, but will try to get back to this over the summer when things are not so crazy around here. Between appointments for my son and his special needs provision at school, choir commitments and plans to meet-up with a bunch of lovely ladies I met on the JustMommies website nigh on 4 years ago, things have really run away with me recently.

The time of the storm is upon me, and any spiritual readers will know what I mean by that. Storm showed up in my cards back in the spring-time, accompanied by repetitive signs such as songs coming back to haunt me, rainbows and dreams of angels.

Perhaps I even asked for that energy a little. I have been working with various high vibration crystals including moldavite and kunzite. I don’t have a piece of phenacite but I have been working with phenacite elixir, and extensively with my rose quartz diffuser and selenite desert roses. Not only has this opened my third eye and channelling abilities more, it has drawn more and more of the energies of unconditional love into my life.

I normally keep my spiritual development posts in my Book of Shadows, Light and Dreams (right), but I’m so all over the place and all aspects of my life are so intertwined at present that I’m just posting everything here today.

As a result, I believe, of much spiritual and healing work I have done since 2008, I met a wonderful man in April this year who I would indeed describe as my knight in shining armour. He makes me want to be the best that I can be. I have been inspired to start applying again for teaching posts and have worked hard on my Etsy shop where I have listed readings and home-made crystal wands, amongst other things, for sale. Rather than waxing lyrical about soulmates, I’m just going to go with it, enjoy the feeling of being in love, the feeling of being wanted and cherished, the feeling of being held by a man who feels right. Hence my absence for the most part from the internet!

Anyone who reads regularly may also be interested to know that courage-and-confidence-wise I am doing well. My choir is doing a summer concert this coming Saturday, and I am conducting two of the songs and singing a solo, “Send In The Clowns”. Yes, it feels crazy to do that. Yes, I’ll be so nervous on Friday night that I’ll feel sick, I’m sure. But I will be spending that night before with my favourite man, and I know he will keep me calm, relaxed and feeling good about it all.

So what’s to come next? What I hope will be a wonderful summer building memories with my boyfriend, my son and my friends…and plenty of opportunity to keep improving my intuitive, reading and channelling skills. As to my crystal journeys, the next on the list are apophyllite, which I’ve been drawn to since my second date with Shaun when I saw a gorgeous piece in a little New Age shop in Chester, and rhodochrosite, which turned up in a reading for me this morning and which is all about healing past wounds, which is very pertinent to me right now. I just need to source a piece I resonate with of each, and then see what further miracles occur when I attune to them.

I also keep getting the message that I need to write. I want to keep more on top of my spiritual journal (links to the posts are on the right of this page) for one, but also I want to finish the book I started 2006 about angels. I keep getting messages that I should from friends who are intuitives and amateur mediums or psychics. So I’m hoping the summer will give me time to do that. Poetry has already started flowing again. I will post about this, and some “incidental magick” which I feel worked for me in healing my love-life, in the Book of Shadows, Light and Dreams.

I have photos to share of my recent visit to Scotland in the near future, too.

Storm is definitely still with me, and I am assured that if I ride it out, there are wonderful times ahead. Last Tuesday, I also saw my first “sundog” – a patch of rainbow in the sky close to the sun – and was told by one of my wise online friends that it was an omen of Grace.

From a faery reading done by one of my friends this week:

Faery Oracle:

UnDressing of a Salad: Balance. Avoiding Extremes. Achieving the impossible. Being Impossible.

Basically fits your situation, things are in motion and there is no telling the outcome, but if you can keep a clear head and roll with the unpredictable, you will come out ahead.

Heart of Faerie:

The Queen of the Day: Grace/Beauty/Blessing
This is the calm after the storm…you are being Blessed and when the storm is complete, the Blessing you receive will remain for a long time to come.”

Love and light to all xxx

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OK so since the Take That days my taste in music has changed unrecognisably. I embarked on a journey through Britpop and indie rock to classic and alternative rock. I never lost my love of music. I went through a period of listening to a great variety of bands and artists, including classic/old as well as modern stuff. Then I discovered the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Well, I say that I discovered them: it was a strange thing, because I had crossed paths with their music many times before but never really sat down to listen to their stuff. It was completely arbitrary, too: my then partner had their album By The Way on MP3, and I listened to a few of the songs one time when I was making him a mix CD. It didn’t take long for me to develop an obsession with the songs Cabron and Can’t Stop, and ultimately with the entire album. Which led to me getting my hands on most of their back catalogue and various solo albums released by their then guitarist, John Frusciante. By the time I saw them play live in Manchester in 2004, I was in love with the band in a completely new and different way. I could not get enough of their music. They became “my band for life”.

I remember being so obsessed by their album Blood Sugar Sex Magik I would listen to it back to back, more than 3 times; so captivated by their song Scar Tissue that I would listen to it over and over and over in the car on the way to and from work; and so weak at the knees over Mr Frusciante’s guitar playing it prompted me to pick up a guitar again (and then buy an electric guitar), after abandoning it for several years beforehand as I had hit a wall learning barre chords. I was going through a less than ideal time in my relationship and the music not only got me through – it changed the entire way I looked at myself. I went from zero self esteem to 100% self esteem in…well, a very short space of time. I will never forget the friends I made at that time and the many times I turned to that music – they made me a better person.

By the time the band returned to the UK to tour in 2006, John Frusciante’s music, both solo and with the band, had become a presence in my life that I had never had from music before. There is just something about it that nothing else can touch for me. All I wanted to do was let him know what a difference he had made to me. Early in the year, the band did a small promo tour, just a few small shows in London. The gig at Canvas, which I have posted about earlier in this blog, was done in partnership with Radio 1 and I remember literally listening to Radio 1 all day, every day, for 3 days of my Easter holiday that year. I won tickets with the fan club literally 2 days before the gig itself on 14.4.06. I drove down there from Manchester in a car that had not been serviced nor had its oil changed, and on the way home it died. All completely worth it. I thought I might get to meet the guys after the gig as it really was tiny, but it didn’t happen then.

It was around that time that I had rediscovered a flat, rectangular, high-grade piece of chrysoprase which I had worked with a lot for emotional healing when I first discovered the Chili Peppers. It had contributed to my healing at that time. I am a qualified crystal healing practitioner, although it’s not my day job, and it may sound crazy but crystals “speak to me” sometimes. Usually telling me to buy them and therefore leading me astray. On this occasion, I just had this feeling that the crystal had done what it was supposed to do for me, and that this crystal was the gift I should give to John. I had this absolute knowing that I would get an opportunity to give it to him. So I started charging it with storm energy every time there was thunder and lightning, but mostly just with my love and appreciation for his music and his spirit. I carried it with me when I saw the Chili Peppers play at Manchester Arena in the July (when, incidentally, I was 8 months pregnant). No opportunity came at that time either.

Ever heard of cosmic ordering/manifestation? I made this amazing manifestation wand in the early autumn, and placed this wish inside it, feeling the need to do some energetic work as I believed the band would not be returning to the UK for a long time. Within about 4 weeks of that, my friends and I got wind of another small promo gig at the Roundhouse in Camden Town in November, and immediately set about trying to win tickets from XFM or from the fan club. Some way or another we all ended up with tickets. One of my attempts involved singing and playing a stupid song I made up for Allan Lake of Core FM (I think there’s about 8 of us who will never forgive him for the things he made us do and the laugh he must have had at our expense) to the tune of “Don’t Look Back In Anger” by Oasis live on the radio. I cannot for the life of me now conceive of why I did that. He didn’t even give me a ticket! One of my friends won a pair with the fan club and invited me as her guest!

On the morning of 22.11.06 (see what I mean now about 22/11?), I was suffering from one of the worst hangovers in my life after overdoing things with my friend’s housemate while waiting for her to return from seeing the Chili Peppers at their appearance on the Jools Holland show, the night before. I felt horrendously sick, could barely drag myself out of bed and couldn’t even stomach toast. I think then and there I knew that this must be the day. Somehow I managed to make myself look remotely presentable. We queued from early morning through to the evening to be at the front. I managed to choke down some digestive biscuits and drank a lot of water. I met Leigh Francis that day, he was there asking people what they were queuing for. I didn’t recognise him and was really rather abrupt with him. I don’t think he was filming anything. I sure hope not.

We managed to get fairly near the front. The concert itself was not fantastic unlike the Canvas night. There seemed to be some tension or friction between the band members and Anthony (Kiedis, the singer) didn’t seem to be very well. John and Flea (the bassist) played well though. The improvised outro was the absolute best. I could feel the bass right through the floor and right into my heart. I was totally at one with the music. I was absolutely in the crush and had lost all my friends in it long since. I’m surprised I stayed on my feet until the end as I felt very faint, was getting bashed around and had had lager spilt all down my back. So by the time we came out, I imagine I looked terrible! A few of my friends wanted to race for the train to get back to where the band were staying in the hope of speaking to them. I literally left my coat in the cloakroom and let myself be dragged along.

Flea had already returned by the time we got there, so I missed out on meeting Flea, but my mission was still forefront in my mind: give John the crystal, which by now I had put in a little purple silk bag, along with a little note penned the night before about what his music meant to me and the fact that it had given me healing and just thanking him for his music and his spirit, and telling him about the chrysoprase, what it could be used for, I think I wrote something like “it will literally take your heart apart and put it back together”. My friend, who is a little psychic, started freaking out there on the pavement saying she could “see” Anthony in a black car. About two seconds later, said black car pulled up and out stepped Anthony and John.

You know how you freeze at some moments? Like, destiny is staring you right in the face and for a few seconds you are just paralysed by it? I wasn’t afraid of him. I knew what I wanted to do…but I was almost out of my body looking down on it from a place of timelessness somewhere else in the cosmos. I’m not a starstruck person though I do admit to a certain sense of euphoria and a hopeless case of tongue-tiedness (I knew that would happen in the presence of my guitar hero, hence the writing of the note). But it took a gentle shove from my friend Silvia to bring me back to the moment and push me into action. My voice was missing in action, so I walked up beside him and took his hand/wrist to stop him. That was embarrassing because he was holding a guitar in that hand and I wasn’t sure if he thought I wanted to steal it – he had to swap it to the other hand. My friend Sarah said later he looked like a rabbit caught in the headlights. All I know was that I held his hand, pressed my gift into it and held his gaze steady the whole time. (Stupidly I could not tell you what colour his eyes were. All I know is that I was seeing further into him – a glimpse of his soul perhaps). I thought “I am gonna HAVE to say something.” So I said something really stupid…”you played amazing tonight” or some such rubbish. What I really wanted to say was, “Thank you for all your wonderful work” or “You have made a real difference to my life” or “It’s always a privilege to hear you play”. But oh no. I have to make reference to a performance on a night that was clearly not great. He said something awful quiet like probably “thank you”, I smiled then and let go of his hand, I knew there were other people who wanted to speak to him, and I checked to see where my friends were, some of them were talking to Anthony, and Sarah was behind me. I kind of freaked out after he went inside, but after the initial heart-beating-madly sensation wore off, I was on cloud nine for the rest of the night and I slept like a baby that night.

This is only speculation, but I don’t think he had had the greatest night, despite the out-of-this-world playing at the end of the show. I like to think that I touched his life on that night just like his music touched mine at a low point. I know that while he was speaking to a couple of other people, he made an offhand comment about the gift to someone I knew on the fanclub forum, before he even opened it and saw what it was, “wow, this thing has some serious energy”. Which made me smile because I figure he felt the energy from my charging of the crystal.

I saw the band play at Live Earth and Reading Festival in 2007 but things felt very different, and being high profile events it was impossible to get close. I was glad however to hear Wet Sand and This Velvet Glove live at Reading – two of my favourite less high-profile Chili Peppers songs. In summer 2008, I also got to meet Chad Smith, the drummer of the band, at a Drummer Live event at the London International Music Show. He knows my friend Sarah really quite well and was all smiles and waves when he saw her, so I had the pleasure of being formally introduced, shaking his hand and kissing his cheek. I was always a bit intimidated by Chad but he was lovely to meet in the flesh, and his drummer workshop was very interesting. I’m not sad that I didn’t get to meet Anthony – I have exchanged a lot of meaningful glances with Anthony at the two small gigs I went to in 2006 and sometimes words are not needed. I think a lot of the guy, but we made a connection and that was enough. And I really respect Flea but I’m not too bothered about having not met him. Maybe there will be another opportunity someday. I still hope I will get another chance to speak to John someday and talk to him about spiritual things. My absolute dream would be to have a guitar lesson with him or play a duet with him or something. And I absolutely know dreams can come true…all things are possible. Whatever happens in the future, I’ll always be glad of the events of 14.4.06 and 22.11.06. I am forever grateful and those moments are very much part of who I am today.

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I have sung in choirs before. I have played guitar in bands large and small before and taken simple solos on occasion. I have even sung solo and played guitar at the same time. I have even done it on the radio, trying to win tickets to an exclusive gig Red Hot Chili Peppers were doing at London Roundhouse in 2006. (I tell you, what I wouldn’t have done probably isn’t even worth thinking about).

So why is it that my confidence totally fails me when my choir needs me? We lost our wonderful conductor at Christmas as she had too much going on in her life. We are now conductor-less and there are certain songs when a conductor is needed. I can read music. Granted, I don’t so much know how to conduct “properly”, because back in my teaching days I would just vaguely wave my arms and shout things and hope for the best. :p Still, I can keep time and signal when people need to come in with their part and that kind of thing.

My confidence was severely knocked by a chain of events in 2006-7 which kind of put me right back to the way I used to feel at high school. Invisible. Unimportant. Talentless. Ordinary. I am finding it hard this time round to recover from it, even 3 years and a lot of minor triumphs later.

It seems like every time I am asked to take a turn at it, I just freeze. I also go bright red. I have always gone bright red when I know people are looking at me…the only time I don’t is when I can hide behind my guitar.  It’s such an embarrassing thing to happen, right when you want to impress! The choir is lovely, full of kind, understanding people. Another lady who can read music has taken a few turns when she would really rather not, too. So I have come home this evening feeling disappointed with myself…but determined to have a go next week.

I have promised the vicar I will practice throughout the week. She said it’s one of those “feel the fear and do it anyway” situations and I think she is right. I wanted a way to develop musically since I had to defer my university studies this year. It’s being offered right in my lap. I think I will affirm confidence and courage throughout the week, then come next Wednesday, take a deep breath, close my eyes and jump into the unknown. As a colleague of mine used to say every Monday morning, “once more into the breach…”

It is also time to start looking at a programme of songs for our summer concert, and for those who wanted to sing solo/duet/small group to look at what they would like to sing. Might as well go the whole hog and volunteer for that too! It’s a long time since I sang anything solo – other than the madness-driven radio (ahem) “performance”, it would have been late 2005 when I last sang solo publicly. Oh, for the love of music…

(If you would like to read more about the community choir I sing with, “All Singers Great And Small”, visit the Take Time Out website listed on the right.)

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I’ve been incredibly lucky over the years in this one particular area of life! It all started back in 1995, when I was a hormonal just-slightly-older-than-a-teen, crazy in love with the premier boy band of the day, Take That. There was a competition in one of the tabloids and the prize was to meet and greet the band backstage at one of their concerts that summer. I must have put in at least 50 entries, if not more. Somehow, I had a *knowing* that this was for me. And I was right! I found out on my 20th birthday that I had won. It couldn’t have been more perfect.

The only spanner in the works was that Robbie Williams left the band before I got to the concert. However, undeterred, I picked my outfit, bought a disposable camera which was the only type we were allowed to take, and marched off to meet my favourite band and my absolute heroes at the time, with my then best friend Mandy. It was kind of a defining moment, because for all I may cringe at my rather more hormone-driven musical tastes back in the day before I discovered rock music, it showed me that dreams really can come true. There was a backstage tour, and I even had the chance to stand on the stage in the Manchester Arena and look out at all the empty seats, and experience for a second what performers do – and was it scary, even without all the faces looking back at me!

Take That were always painted as such a family-friendly, boy-next-door kind of group, and I have to say that the guys I met were indeed the perfectly genuine, kind, friendly and down-to-earth people they had been painted to be. That seems rare with celebrities. I wouldn’t mind betting that the guys are exactly the same today as they were back then, despite their amazing comeback and their renewed popularity at this time. For once, the photography worked out for me. It certainly does not always! In fact, it was the beautiful photos I found (when going through all our old photographs to make an album of Grandad pictures for Daniel) that inspired me to make a blog post about the day…

Here is me with Jason Orange. Jason was a big surprise, very friendly and extremely good-looking in real life, and intelligent but down to earth with it. I hadn’t imagined Jason that way, or perhaps I had never considered him very much until that day. I was very nervous on the day, it was pretty mind-blowing when they poked their heads round the corner of the room, these guys who had been my heroes with their unique brand of pop music, energy, tireless patience with the fans, amazing live shows, and charity work for the best part of 4 years by then. He very much put me at ease, giving me hugs and complimenting me on my sexy dress. Jason has since developed exponentially as a musician and now plays guitar on some tracks, which always makes me weak at the knees. My favourite of their recent songs is “Wooden Boat”, a touching musing on life and love which was penned, played and sung by Jason. He has opened my eyes in so many ways.

And here I am with Howard Donald. I didn’t get a lot of chance to speak with Howard but he was perfectly friendly and lovely. It made me cry when I watched a documentary about the band a few years ago – shortly before their comeback – and I heard that Howard had been so upset when the band had broken up back in 1996, he had contemplated committing suicide. However I can understand his intense love of his band. Howard has a beautiful falsetto vocal which featured on many of my favourite songs back in the day.

I was extremely shy about speaking to Mark Owen. Funny because it was always Mark who was my heart-throb, but when I met him in real life I didn’t remotely fancy him – there was no chemistry in that way! Mark was very kind and told me not to be shy and put his arm round me, resulting in the most fabulous picture of the four – I don’t know if I’d have had the patience in his shoes! He worked hard that afternoon to try to speak to everyone who wanted to speak to him and collected presents we had brought. I went on to see Mark perform his own solo songs in concert and very much enjoyed watching him on Celebrity Big Brother. He was always the caring one of the band and that still shines through today. I love that he has come into his own as a band member, and his track “Shine” is one of my favourites from their new repertoire. Not sure about his dress sense here though! (Only kidding!)

And finally, here is a picture of me with Gary Barlow. While it’s not as good a picture, it was my favourite moment from the day. Gary had always been my biggest hero of the band. Although I’m not into that kind of music now, at the time I was, and he is a superb musician. There was a certain something about his songs that got me. To get to tell Gary how much his music had inspired and helped me was amazing. It was a moment of love emblazoned on my heart forever, and imprinted in my psyche to the extent that I now have a fixation about getting to tell people when they have made a difference to my life. He must have appreciated what I said because I was absolutely pressed into his chest here as you can see, and he kissed my hair. Love attracts love. Unconditional love for someone who has truly touched your life is a really beautiful thing. A quiet but talented, soulful guy, Gary continues to be a hero of mine to the present day and I love the song “Rule The World”, which always brings his energy to mind for me: “Yeah you and me we can ride on a star, if you stay with me girl, we can rule the world…”

Incidentally, the guy in the background there was their photographer, Phillip Ollerenshaw. He did our tour. He is an incredibly nice guy whom it was also a pleasure to meet.

The story doesn’t quite end there on 15th August 1995. Robbie Williams was one of my heroes too. And as fate would have it, it seemed that it was still written in the stars for me to meet him too. I came close in December 1996 when I managed to get into the Christmas Top Of The Pops filming and see him mime his hit single “Freedom” close up, but did not get to speak to him. It was around the time when he was launching his solo career. My then best friend Amanda (different to the first Amanda) and I had got to know his lovely mum a bit and had her address. We used to go there to drop off presents or letters for him periodically. For his birthday in 1997, I had found a picture frame which said “Life is beautiful – You add to it” in Afflecks’ Palace. And on 22nd  February 1997 when we went to see his mum to drop it off, she rolled up in her car, and he was in it.

After giving him his present, I said I’d let him go inside, because it had started to rain. Instead, he asked me to wait and popped inside to get a tape (how old does that make me feel! tapes are all but redundant these days!) and we sat in Amanda’s car. He shared the tape with us. It was bits and pieces of demo songs which ended up on his first album, “Life Thru A Lens.” The one that sticks in mind is “Ego A Go Go”. He was so excited about his new music and seemed to enjoy sharing it, although he was also pensive and talking about having had a bad year. I didn’t know what to say, so I just stroked his arm. I did not ask for a photograph, as I didn’t want to spoil the exchange for what it was, especially not at his mum’s home when he was clearly not “on work time”. He called us both “ducks” and gave us a peck goodbye. I think I spent about a week in total disbelief. We told very few people at the time. However my memory is getting to the point now where I really want to record what happened so the memory is there for me forever.

I never did go and see Take That again when they came back together for their reunion tour. I didn’t want to spoil the memories. However I think I might crumble if they do tour again, just purely for nostalgia…

Notice the date when I met Robbie. It will become significant when I post part 2. 😉

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I never cared for it much even back in the days when we sang it in high school choir, but the song “Swing Low, Sweet Chariot” keeps popping up in my life.

Back in December, towards the end of what was essentially a tough year, one night I spontaneously started singing this song in the kitchen while I was making a cup of tea. I hadn’t heard the song anywhere, it just randomly popped to mind.

The weird thing was, the very next day I was speaking to a customer on the phone at work and I noticed that his email address was based around the song, with the main part of it being “sweetchariots”.

The even weirder thing was, a few of my friends who frequent a spiritual forum I lead had spontaneously begun singing the song within a couple of days of this happening to me. The coincidence therefore prompted a lot of discussion between us about what message the universe was trying to deliver. We looked into the origins of the song and found it was historically related to the Negro slave trade and was a song of the “underground railroad” – a group which secretly, strongly strived for freedom – and the song was a call to freedom, or a call to arms, a call to fight for freedom.

We concluded that the message, or sign, for us was that better times were coming, and perhaps somebody would come into my life and help me in some way.

Another weird coincidence there is that back in 2007 a TV psychic did a mini past life reading for me and told me in one of my previous lives I had been a Negro slave!!

What I am leading up to is, I went to choir tonight after 2 weeks off following the illness and subsequent death of my father, and we have a number of new songs to learn. One of them is the “Swing Low Medley” – a beautiful harmonic intermeshing of “Swing Low, Sweet Chariot”, “When The Saints Go Marching In” and a ditty called “Rolling Along”.  I don’t believe in coincidence at the best of times but this is just ridiculous – I think the song must be some kind of theme for me.

I sing alto and we are singing the “Rolling Along” part. I wonder if there is further meaning in that for me?

“Rolling along, singing my song, devil is after me, chariots of fire, songs reaching higher, I know he won’t catch me.”

Interpretations welcome! Personally, I take from it that…

1. It’s ok to be on a plateau once in a while. Slow and steady wins the race.

2. Music is and will continue to be my rock.

3. Everything will be ok in the end.

On a slightly separate note, we had to take our little old cat to the vet’s today. On the way home, we got stuck in traffic, and part of the number plate of the car in front read “DAD”. I was only yesterday waxing lyrical on my forum about how I felt he has stayed with me as some kind of guide. Perhaps this was his confirmation of that. I would like to think so. 😉

(NB. For info about my choir visit the Take Time Out link on the right. To visit my spiritual forum, visit the General Spirituality link.)

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Life (and love) goes on…

Everything has changed in my life in the space of two weeks. My father died on 4th February 2010 of multiple organ failure caused by pneumonia, which in turn he was prone to because he suffered from COPD. We had a week of frantic hospital runs when he was in critical care, before spending his final hours with him holding his hand and watching everything shut down, one organ after another, on the monitors. He died very peacefully, very much like falling asleep. It was the first time I witnessed death first hand, and it was an amazing experience spiritually speaking. We then of course spent the next week doing the customary funeral arrangements. Dad was a huge Man United fan, which the eulogy made reference to and we rounded off the service with “Come On You Reds” – which is many people’s lasting memory of him and which we’re sure he would have chosen as his last words if he could have spoken at all. I will never forget the special moments I had with him during his last week on earth, especially the last night when he had one moment of clarity amidst being pretty much out of it, looked right in my eyes with his beautiful blue ones, gave me the most loving smile, and opened his lips as if to say something. I thought at the time he was trying to say “I love you” in response to my “I love you”. Now I think he was trying to say goodbye.

Perspective is a funny thing. It has made me look at a lot of things in a different way, and it has compounded my spirituality and strengthened my beliefs. I know it has made me grow as a soul. I feel as if I have been catapulted in a new direction and I am not at all scared but excited, knowing that in spirit, Dad is right there holding my hand. I have had to withdraw from my studies this year so will have to find other outlets for my musical nature, so bring on the guitar playing and choir! It has also made me withdraw romantically and re-assess what I want in a relationship, in a very timely way. And yet I strangely feel more love in my heart and more loved and secure than ever before.

So watch this space…

Here are Dad’s beautiful flowers. Simply his name in the colours of his favourite football team – red and white. They look very apt for Valentine’s, too. 😉

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So much happens in a year. It’s really quite terrifying. And then some intrinsic things always stay the same.

I suppose I must have changed in many ways because I have finally taken the scary step of going part-time at work. It will be happening in the next week or two. I am hoping to be able to do some spiritual work from home, readings, making wands, making spell kits, perhaps some crystal healing work, writing e-books, as well as selling crystals and planning real-life workshops. It will be a tall order whilst potty training a wilful 3 year old who, we have found, is likely to have learning difficulties, which was rather a shock my family and I have been coming to terms with over a number of months – as well as ferrying him to his appointments and working with him to help his social skills, but hopefully there will be some time for working from home. On my “to do” list once I have gone part-time are setting up an Etsy shop and a simple website with a small spiritual forum.

I am hoping this will also give me more time to pursue my first love in life…music. I really miss just getting out and playing my guitar. It has happened so sporadically over the last year and it’s such a shame. It means I’m all out of practice if anyone asks to hear anything and I’m so shy, I can’t bear to play when I haven’t practiced for some time. I have joined a community choir which I would like to be able to give more commitment to as currently I don’t make it every week. It is an open “singing for fun” choir and I’m one of only a few who can actually read music or play an instrument so I really ought to make more commitment. It’s not only time, it’s confidence too, but at least I will have more available time for working on myself. This year’s undergraduate studies are more broad-based over different periods and styles of music, and start in just under two weeks. I have already started my reading for them. I passed last year’s course with a grade equivalent to a 2:1 and the summer school was life-changing! So I am halfway through a Diploma in Music now.

One of the big catalysts to me finally taking the leap of faith and asking for part-time hours was the unprecedented snowfall we had in early January this year. It was nothing short of wiping the slate clean: that blanket of snow fell over everything and made it pure all over again. We did take Daniel out in it to make a snowman in the park. That snow truly was a miracle, although it became the bane of my life for 2 weeks as I was having to struggle into work. But, looking for the silver (or white?) lining it has led to me making a final decision on this. If you didn’t have snow like I had snow, here are pictures! Share in the magic!

Iced Tree, January 2010

No Way Out, January 2010

Snowscape, January 2010

Frozen In Time, January 2010

Awe, January 2010

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